Happen

I just learned I have an English reader, or should I say... watcher? I'm fairly sure he doesn't understand Swedish even if our common friend seems to have taught him some useful Swedish phrases like "många kramar". Therefore todays blog is in English and since I'm a great Anglo-fan anyway I might continue writing in this second language now and then.

I got to wonder yesterday, when love became a commodity. As a child the question if I was loved or not never crossed my mind, having the fortune of being raised in an understanding family. If I was sad because my Lego robot broke, someone gave me a hug and life could move on. The inconvenience of getting someone's attention without giving anything back was not at all an issue, let alone the silent ticking of the One for you One for me-record being filled in. When did that happen? When did I start questioning my right to be sad? When did everyone around me start doing the same? Since when is love something you must exchange to an exact rate? One for you, one for me. If you give me a hug I must do the same for you. No, not for your sake, for mine!, because the absence of a returning hug would leave me uncomfortable, not you. When did love stop existing in that eternal well, wide open for anyone anytime, and turn into a merchandise you must learn to deal with? To handle with care and record-keeping, to not lavish and give away without second thoughts, to talk about but not feel.

When did that happen?